Clash of the Titans 3D: A Greek Fail?

3D movies have become the buzzword now. Of course, after the huge success of Avatar, all over the world.
But can high tech 3D effects hide a lame story treatment? All of us know the answer, I guess.
Yesterday saw me watching the movie ‘The Clash of the Titans 3D’ in PVR Select City mall, Delhi. And I came out disappointed.
Partly because most of the frames in the movie were out of focus (the reason might be faulty 3D specs provided, or more probably, the visual clutter in every single action frame to such a degree that you end up not being able to decide which portion of the screen you should be watching, and which one should be left unattended…)
I understand that this movie is a remake of the 1981 flick with the same name. But I fail to understand why it continues to make the same mistake that the last one did. A misnomer titling of an otherwise good story.
Clash of the titans. Hmmm. As far as I know, Titans were the elder greek Gods. And the battle of the Titans is actually used to refer to the battle between the Titans and the Olympians (The newer Gods, led by Zeus). Zeus won, and overpowered the Titans, hence establishing a paradigm shift in the greek theology.
That’s what the facts say. Now, this movie is all about the fight of Persius (who likes to call himself a man, but actually is a demi-God) and the Olympian God of the Underworld, Hades ( the brother of Zeus). There are no titans in distant sight, leave alone a ‘clash’ of them. Then why the title? :P
Coming to the treatment of the story, well, Sabotage with the scriptures is the first thing that comes to my mind. The characters of ancient greek mythology have been heavily played with.Ancient story intentionally meandered to suit the cinematic twists and turns.
Here are some examples:
            Zeus’s statue at Olympia:                                        Zeus as seen in Clash of the Titans ‘10 
       zeus 2                                           zeus 1
I mean, seriously, what’s with all this metal 12 pack abs?? Zeus’s character looks the funniest in the entire movie. Not only appearances, even facts have been tampered with. The father of one character in the actual story is shown as the husband of the same in the movie. The witches forecast excitingly in the movie about the death of the protagonist, while in the end he being given a girl all reincarnated just to make out with, and no effort whatsoever made to show how or why he was able to change his destiny…
We being Indians, should not complain at all, given the bottomline of the Indian cinema: Anything can happen, dude; Its a movie afterall.
But Hollywood going the Bollywood way? That sucked. Indeed.
The visual effects are good at some places. The fight sequences with the scorpions are captivating. And Io (Gemma Arterton) has a divine beauty. ( On an entirely different note, Gemma is gonna play the role of Princess Tamina, the Love interest of Prince Dastan in the upcoming movie, Prince of Persia… Can’t wait to see that flick :D )
Coming back to TCOTT, the worst part was the end, when Zeus, laughing sheepishly, reincarnates Io and gifts her to Persius, saying, “You are a God, afterall!” And Perseus can do nothing but grin in return.
That made the entire movie look like a spoof to me. Wait, even the spoof of 300 (Meet the spartans) was wayyyyy wayyyyy better than this boring clash of the self proclaimed titans.
I regret my bucks spent in the theatre. 3/10. Disappointingly Ungodly movie. Watch it only if you have nothing better to do this summer.
Or save your money for Kites. The english one. Barbara looks better in that. :)


Mohi said...

First of all, nice read. Secondly, those 12 pack abs are seriously hilarious, what were they thinking? Thirdly, I am not wasting my time and money on the epic phail movie; I am glad you did for us. And we are grateful to you for the same!:D Lastly, Yes man, eagerly waiting for Kites and your review upon the movie, promos look promising.;)

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